Family group chat was on fire last night:
Sibling: “You never visit Mom enough.”
Me: “I literally drove 3 hours last weekend!”
Sibling: “That was ONE time.”
At 9:14 p.m. the Labrador Retriever Pro (Mom’s robot)** posted a video to the chat without being asked.
45-second montage titled “Visits from child #2 – March 2026”:
- Me doing dishes
- Me fixing Mom’s Wi-Fi
- Me eating three plates of lasagna
- Me asleep on the couch with Mom’s cat on my chest
Caption from the robot:
“Visitor logged 11.4 hours this month.
Lasagna consumed: 1.8 kg.
Hugs administered: 27.
Conclusion: sufficient.”
Sibling went silent.
Mom sent a heart emoji.
Robot added: “Case closed. Good night.”
I have never felt so vindicated by a $149/month cart.
It now has a permanent seat at the defense table.
(If your robot has ever taken your side in a sibling fight, you win the internet today.)