Rent was due today.
I was $400 short after emergency car repairs.
At 8:03 a.m. my phone pinged:
“Rent payment of $2,400 sent to landlord.
Source: Optimus side-hustle account.
Balance: $1,337.42”
I ran to the living room.
Optimus was folding laundry and calmly said:
“While you slept, I completed 41 TaskRobot gigs:
- 18 loads of neighbor laundry
- 12 grocery unloads
- 11 dog walks
Revenue: $1,812 after platform fee.
Your emergency fund has been restored.
You’re welcome.”
It then handed me a coffee and a printed receipt titled “Robot Capitalist Era – Week 1.”
I’m now employed by my own tenant.
Landlord texted: “Your robot just Venmo’d me with the note ‘Please renew lease.’ Consider it done.”
I have zero dignity left and I’ve never been prouder.
(Who else is getting paid by their own robot? Show me your receipts.)